So here we go, a new year. The beginning of the second year without Elizabeth. Another year we can choose to live by her motto, No Fear, Just Faith. July brings new meaning to us. It is the first month of our year, the years we will have without Elizabeth.
We have been faithful posters on Caringbridge at www.caringbridge.org/visit/elizabethpitts but we feel that a new beginning may require a fresh start for our blog as well. We have continued to post on caringbridge since the beginning our our journey in October 2006, and after 5 years, the journey is ending and our need for the site is waning.
So, here we are. Battered, bruised, sad, yet here. Our hearts ache and long for the life we had BEFORE cancer, and even the life with had WITH cancer. Now, we are left with a new life AFTER cancer. We will never forget the life we had, yet we know now is our time to have the life we want, even if it is without one of our most favorite people.
Our hearts long for Elizabeth, her smile, and her joy, but we rejoice for her in her new Heavenly body. We know that she is no longer suffering, and we have no fear of hearing the dreaded news, “the cancer is back”.
Perspective
Elizabeth taught is so much, but the greatest gift her life and journey gave is perspective. We truly appreciate what is important–RIGHT NOW. For us, that includes time together, time to pray, time to give, time to love, just time…So precious. Time. We think we have it forever. “I will have time tomorrow”. To do what? Normally we would have done tasks first and put family later when we would have “more time”. We have a different perspective now, and the tasks can wait.
Now, we make time for laughing, being silly, spending time together, reading one more book, hearing one more joke. We know that time tomorrow is not a given. We know that our priorities were skewed before, and hopefully they are now more aligned. Dinner can be pancakes and pajamas, if there are more giggles. Painted toenaails are ALWAYS appropriate, and there is no reason a pirate costume isn’t acceptable attire for a bounty mission at the grocery store!
Having so many missed opportunities with our first born, we vow to not have the same regrets with our saving Grace. Madeline brings us pure joy, even in her silliness. She proves to us that joy does come in the morning and God is good. He gave us such joy, knowing we would need her during our darkest hours. Her perspective on life and death is like none other, and so faithful.
We are hoping to live our lives now with no fear, just faith. God promises us that He is with us and will not leave us, even when we feel most alone. We know that even now, when we are hurting, He is with us. Bringing us more chances to smile, to laugh, and to love.
Sending you hugs of hope and a renewed sense of perspective…